I’m clumsy, I’m awkward, I stutter, and most of the time, I’m a hot mess. I’m loud, I’m messy, and sometimes I’m lazy. I don’t wake up looking like a supermodel…actually, I don’t think all the makeup, or hair stylists in the world could make me look like a supermodel. I get emotional, and sometimes I cry. I make mistakes, and as much as I like to think I have it all together, sometimes I don’t. I don’t know everything, and sometimes I’m insecure. But that’s okay. Because I’m human. And people aren’t perfect, nor am I trying to be. Sure, there are some things I need to work on, but most of it, I can’t change, it’s just me and a part of who I am. And that’s okay. And if I’m not good enough for you, then don’t even bother talking to me. Because I don’t change myself to fit ANYONE’S standards. And that’s final.
It’s perfectly okay to be sad, and it’s okay to admit it. If something doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to, it’s alright to be afraid and to be sad. Sure, everything happens for a reason, and everything works out in the end, but in the given moment, being upset is okay. You don’t have to hide it or fight it…it doesn’t make you any less of a person, and you should never be ashamed of it. We’re only human and we can’t fight inevitable feelings or emotions. The more you fight it, the more you’re only hurting yourself. The next time something may not turn out the way you wanted it to, let your guard down, accept that you’re not happy at that exact moment, talk to someone you love about it, and maybe even cry a little. Sometimes even though you should always look to God to help you through your hardships, other people are also a huge help. Venting and crying to someone you love, here in the physical world, can help more than you think. Sadness doesn’t equal weakness. And it DEFINITELY does NOT equal the absence of faith. It is possible to be sad about a certain situation and still having faith and knowing that everything will work out in the end. Just food for thought.
I hope you all are having an AMAZING Thanksgiving! Or at least better than mine. Ha. Thanksgiving has ALWAYS been one of my favorite holidays, but this year, not so much. I had to work all day because apparently Starbucks is LITERALLY the only place that stays open for Thanksgiving…why? I have no idea. But that was actually the HIGHLIGHT of my day because at least I got to spend it with my coworkers, whom I do enjoy. After work things went downhill…my family is really boring and isn’t really into celebrating holidays, so when they learned I was working, my mom took that opportunity to not have to cook a Thanksgiving dinner, so I spent the other half of my day alone, in my room. It’s now 9:30pm and I haven’t even eaten anything since I ate breakfast at work at 10:30am because there’s no food in my house and every grocery store and restaurant is closed. It would have been nice to at least spend the rest of my Thanksgiving with friends, but they’re all busy with their REAL Thanksgiving festivities. So I guess I’ll just chill by myself and remember that I guess I do have a lot to be Thankful for even though I’m feeling left out, blown off, and forgotten about now. Anyway, I didn’t post this to complain, or mope, or throw myself a pity party…I just wanted to wish everyone reading this a very Happy Thanksgiving and to remind you all to remember what matters the most and be thankful for all that you have, even when you’re feeling down. I hope you all got to spend your day with the people you love. <33
No, this world isn’t “evil,” and no, it’s not a bad place…being here isn’t a punishment. Sure there are bad things…lots of them…but there’s also MORE wonderful things. You see, in order to recognize that there is bad in this world, and what exactly is wrong, you must also be able to recognize what is GOOD. Am I right? You see, as human beings, God gave us freewill…freewill to make our own choices, and think for ourselves, and while, yes, some people chose to do bad things and create evil, people also choose to do lots of wonderfully good, AMAZING things…all on their own freewill…and I think that’s a beautiful thing. That people choose to do good because they want to. I could easily make this a religion thing, which I tend to be careful about in order not to shove my beliefs down people’s throats, but this is what I believe to be true…this world may not be perfect, and there is a lot of bad and evil things in this world, but that’s not to say that this is the devil’s world. I don’t believe this world is a bad place, and I definitely don’t believe that the devil runs this world. Is he present in many of the things here? Absolutely. And does he try to scheme and trick us into doing bad things? You bet he does! BUT, God is also very much so present…even more so than the devil…and SO much more powerful. Yeah, this world might get tough sometimes, but God is here to guide us, and help us along the way to protect us from the bad. God helps amazing things come from even the worst situations. And that alone is beautiful. Without suffering, there would be no compassion, and to recognize that there is wrong in this world, you are also recognizing that there is good…because what is good, if there was no wrong? If that makes sense. Whether what religion you are, or whether you believe in God or not, I’m just going to leave you with this…not to say that people without religion cannot have morals, because they most certainly can, BUT, how can they explain WHY something is good…what makes it good? The only explanation for good, is God. Also, from a religious standpoint, being “good” and following God’s law does not get you on his good side, or into heaven. Very common misconception. In God’s eyes, we’re all bad; we’re all sinners…every single one of us. And just because we may do some amazing things in this world, we also sin…every day. And sin is sin…no sin is any worse than another. And no matter how many good things we’ve done, it still doesn’t erase the sins you’ve made. It’s not about following God’s law as a perfect human…that’s impossible, and God KNOWS that. The only perfect person who will ever exist is Jesus, and that’s why he sacrificed himself for OUR sins…so that as long as you accept him into your life and follow him, HE covers all the sin you’ve made in life, which allows you to go to Heaven regardless of your sin. He’s kind of a get-out-of-jail-free card, if you will. A lot of people have a misconception…just because you’re a good person and follow God’s law, does NOT mean you’re getting into Heaven. That’s wrong. The only way you’ll get into heaven is through Jesus and accepting him as your savior. After accepting Jesus, that should change your heart and make you WANT to do good things, but without doing that, and simply just being like “well, God and The Bible tell me I can’t do this, so I’m not going to because I want to go to Heaven,” will NOT get you into Heaven. The fact of the matter is this, you can sin all you want, but as long as you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart as your savior, you’re set. BUT, that being said, having Jesus in your life SHOULD, in your heart make you want to do good things, and be a good person, and live fruitfully and graciously because if you don’t have the fruit of being a Christian, then it’s questionable whether you’re really a Christian at all. Anyway, I didn’t want to make this completely a religion thing, but I guess there’s no getting around that because this is what I believe to be absolutely true. Moral of the story; no, this world isn’t evil…it’s absolutely beautiful…even despite the evil, because we still have God, and he’ll always conquer. He’ll always win and the goodness in this world will always triumph the evil. God doesn’t want us to despise our time here because it’s “evil”…he wants us to enjoy it, and use our time here to not give into the temptations and CREATE more goodness. I believe this world is a beautiful place, despite the bad things, and being here is an absolute blessing. God is trusting the freewill he gave us to create goodness, and what could be more beautiful than that?
WOW! Longtime, no blog, I know! There’s really no excuse for my absence except for the fact that I’ve been insanely busy and so much has changed in my life recently that I’ve honestly been too overwhelmed with ideas for posts and updates that I didn’t even know where to begin. But, this isn’t an update post, so I’ll save those for another time. I just wanted to leave all of you out there reading this, with this little food for thought; no matter how “unimportant” a job or task may seem to you, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less significant, and that you shouldn’t give it your all. Your “little” job flipping burgers is no less significant than a “big time” office job dealing with “important” paperwork, and more ”established” people. They’re both the same. It doesn’t matter what you do, or what makes you feel “smarter.” A job is a job, and no matter how unimportant it may seem, it IS just AS important as the next, and it deserves 110% of your effort…that’s what being a mature hard worker is all about…your effort…NOT the job. DO NOT half ass a task because you don’t think it’s as important as another job/task, or because you think you’re better than whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever it is you’re doing at that moment, needs to be where ALL of your focus needs to be, because I guarantee, eventually, it will backfire on you. Like I said, food for thought.
Coming to terms with the fact that one of the things that you want more than anything will probably never happen, is one of the hardest things…so hard, in fact, that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to lose hope for it. It just sucks because part of me knows I’m wasting my time waiting for pigs to fly, but I want this. SO badly. And I feel so strongly that this is right for me, but so far, it doesn’t look like it’s ever going to happen…and that scares me.
It is true what they say; failure does, in fact, lead to success. A quote I’ve lived by for the past two years, but sometimes, after so many failures, you begin to wonder if that’s actually true. Is everyone meant to succeed? Will everyone eventually have their time to shine? At least I wondered that, anyway. Finding a job has been a tedious task, to say the least…especially in the past two years.
Being a college student, it’s only natural to want to work, make your own money, and gain independence to prepare yourself for the real, adult world. But for me, just finding a part-time job seemed next to impossible. Every application I turned in, and every interview I went on seemed like playing the lottery. Being a young adult in her early 20’s with her only job experience being a three month long summer job in New York three years ago, where my aunt was the manager, I wasn’t exactly in “high-demand,” if you will. The fact that I’m also barley 80 pounds, four foot, eight inches, have quite severe scoliosis, and look like I’m about thirteen year old, didn’t help much, either. Managers tended to not take me seriously because of how young I looked and my physical disabilities. I just needed someone to look past my physical qualities. They didn’t affect my work ethic, or my skill…they’re just physical. Other than that, I’m a normal person, who lives her life…well, normally. I can do anything anyone else can, and have just as much work ethic as anyone else. I’m a very independent person, and I’ve never been one to let a silly disability that effects nothing but my height get in my way. I just needed that one chance, that one manager, to see past that, and see me for who I really am.
So for the past two years, I struggled. Relying on my parents, and sometimes even very generous friends to help me financially. I hated that; I felt like I burden. I didn’t want to be that girl who just mooched off everyone around me. While all my friends were out working, I was sitting at home, alone, by myself feeling like a loser with no life. And with parents who constantly put me down for not working, like it was something I chose, it really put a damper on my self esteem.
For the past two years, a very, very generous, kind, and helpful friend of mine has helped me SO much in trying to find a job. From recruiting me to potential employers, helping me fill out applications, giving me tips and advice for job interviews, tough-love, and really just encouraging me to keep trying and reminding me that failure does lead to success, and that one day, God is going to give me the perfect job for me. And that honestly meant so much.
After an almost two year feat, last week, my friend, who works at Starbucks, texted me and told me to fill out an application to the new Starbucks location opening up in our area. The manager of that store, is temporarily working at his store, until the new location opens up. He talked to her about me, and I filled out the application. Within 30 minutes of submitting it online, I got a phone call from the manager asking me to come in for an interview later on in the week. The interview went great, and the managers made me feel really comfortable.Two days later, I got a phone call from her saying that I got the job! FINALLY! I was so excited…and didn’t really believe it at first…I had been waiting TWO YEARS for this day, and was finally here!
I instantly called my friend and told him the good news and he shared just as much excitement as I did. We finally did it! I say “we” because I do believe that he’s been such a big part of my journey in finding a job and I don’t think I could have done it without him. I believe that God helped me find a job through him, and I’m so thankful. Not for just landing me a job, but for being there for me along the way and encouraging me to keep trying, not to give up, and reminding me that God will give me the right job at the right time; that my moment will eventually come, and that sometimes failure makes the best success stories.
It’s not the “success” that makes people inspired; it’s the journey, the rocky road, the roller coaster, and the failure that all come first that make the story, and make it inspirational. God doesn’t just hand out success; he won’t give you anything that you can’t handle, so you just have to put your trust and faith into him and know that he WILL give you what is best for you when the timing is right. You just need a little patience. Two years ago, I don’t think I could have handled this, really…I don’t think I was mentally ready. But I am now. God does know what he’s doing. You just have to trust. I’m a little scared, and nervous, but I’m also excited and I can’t wait to see where this takes me. I hope it’s a good, and most importantly, a happy journey for me. If you’re struggling with a similar situation, just remember, eventually failure does lead to success. It may take time, but just have faith and believe that when the timing is right, it WILL happen for you when it’s meant to be. It took me two years, but I finally did it. And you can, too! I believe in you. My friend was right, and I’m SO thankful for everything he’s done for me to help make my career goals a reality.