Am I the only one who started singing that Brad Paisley song, Letter to Me, when I saw this topic?? “If I could write a letter to me, and send it back in time to myself at 17…” Nope? No one else? Alright, cool…moving on. Haha.
Anyway….there are a lotttt of things I’ve learned since I was a teenager. A LOT. I’m so different now and I’ve learned so much about the world, and myself. So here’s my letter.
Dear Teenage Jenn,
Okay, first things first. What are you doing?! Yeah that blonde hair is NOT doing it for you. Everyone is right…you look like a highlighter. Stop killing your hair. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. I promise. Also, step outside of your comfort zone a little bit…try new things you normally wouldn’t have, take risks, and have fun. It’s okay to change it up a bit and have have new adventures. Speaking of change, change is NOT always a bad thing. Change is a GREAT thing. EMBRACE it!! Stop dwelling and living in the past. Yeah, you’ll have some awesome times as a teenager, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never have good…even better times! People come and go out of your life. And those who want to stay in your life will, and those who don’t…well, don’t dwell on missing them, because those who are worth it, they’ll stay. People change, grow apart, and move on…and that’s all a part of life. You’ll have new, even better people come into your life, and give you even better memories.
Also, girl, you GOTTA learn to speak your mind more. It’s OKAY to say “no,” sometimes…it doesn’t make you mean. It’s great that you care about others…and never stop doing that, but you matter, too. Please don’t be a doormat. Put your foot down, and show your bitchy side when needed. Please, never text and drive!! And when you don’t have a green left arrow, you do NOT have the right away. Just pay attention to the road. Also, people aren’t as scary as you think they are. Being shy isn’t really working for ya’. Muster up that confidence I know you have, and be that outgoing girl I know you are at heart. Come out of your shell. It doesn’t matter how awkward you think you are, or how much you hate your voice. Just be you. You’ll meet tons of new people. And please, NEVER take the people in your life for granted. Because no one is invincible. And anything could happen. Let the people in your life know you care about them. Don’t push people away because you’re afraid that you care too much about them. That’s silly. Just because people in elementary and middle school were mean, doesn’t mean that no one else wants to be your friend. Because people do care about you. More than you know.
Keep that confidence you have, and continue not to care what people think. You’ve got the right idea there. Keep it up. Never change yourself for anyone. Continue living up to you morals and values and stay true to yourself. You’ll look back in a few years and be proud of that. When times get tough, just remember that EVERYONE goes through awful times, but it’s not the end of the world. It always gets better. Don’t let the bad times destroy you. Please. That’s just going to make you even more miserable. Just work on fixing yourself and working towards making everything better. You can’t fight fate, and what’s meant to happen, will happen. Everything really DOES happen for a reason. It may not make sense now, but it will in the end.
I know you’re probably thinking “yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before…,” but take it from your older and wiser self, who’s been through this. It’s all so true. I promise you. You’ll be okay. Everything will work out in the end. Don’t stress too much and just have faith everything will be okay in the end. You have SOOO much up ahead of you, and life gets so much better after your teenage years. High school is NOWHERE near the best years of your life. Start looking forward to the future. As the song says, “you’ll make it through this and you’ll see…you’re still around to write this letter to me.” :))
I touched a bit on this on day 15’s post. I changed a LOT in the past two years…probably the most I’ve ever changed in my life. The past two years were definitely big transformation years for me. Looking back two years ago, I was a lot more unhappy, and a lot less confident. I was ready to start making a change in my life, but I hadn’t really started anything significant yet. I guess two years ago was really the start of it all. I was tired of living in the past and dwelling on things that happened years ago in high school. I wasn’t happy with my current state in life so I dwelled on a time I remember being happy…and that was in high school, instead of dealing with the issue and working to make myself happier.
I finally started to see the light and removed all the toxic people from my life. Yeah, I had to go friendless for a while, but that’s okay because once the new semester started at school I made an effort to meet new people and ended up making some amazing new friends. I also finally started to come to terms with the things that made me unhappy in the past. I finally stopped pushing them back and admitted them to myself so that I was able to start moving forward. I guess I just had a lot of emotional baggage and bad mindset habits that I was finally making an effort to change. I stopped attaching myself in inanimate things that connected me to my past and learned to live in the present and take each day as it comes. I even dyed my hair dark after being blonde my entire life…and that was a HUGE step for me in learning to accept and embrace change. Because of learning to embrace change, I’m a lot more confident and comfortable with myself. I started trying to become the absolute best person I could be, and that including kicking some bad mental habits. It wasn’t easy, and yeah, it made me uncomfortable at first, but it was worth it and in the end, it made me a more confident, happier, and overall better person.
I’m not saying that I’m done…there’s still things in my life that I need to change and fix, and there always will be, but now I recognize that, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make myself the best person I can be, no matter how scary it is. I’m SO proud of the changes I’ve made in the past two years and I can’t wait to see how much I’ll learn, change, and grow up in the next two years! :))
So I missed yesterday’s post, whoops! I’m not gonna come up with some long winded, lame excuse as to why I missed it…I’m just gonna be completely honest and say that it kind of slipped my mind, and by the time I remembered I just wasn’t in the mood to write, so I’ll do both yesterday’s post today, and today’s tomorrow, and so on and so forth. So now I’m a day behind, but that’s okay! Here we go!
This is kind of a tough one because I can’t really chose a specific point in time, but I can chose a year, and that was last year, 2012. 2012 was a great year for me. Prior to last year, I was kind of still getting over the pretty much toughest time of my life…I was going through a litte transitional phase and I was ready for some big changes, ready to make some major self improvements, and just ready to learn and grow up. I changed a lot in 2012…I’m more confident, mature, and I finally admitted to myself some issues of the past and was ready to put them behind me and focus on the present to prepare for my future. I got over my fear of change and learned to embrace it because change change actually be a good thing. I learned a lot about myself and made some really good changes in my life last year. I also had a lot of fun last year…prior, like I said, I was going through a tough time and was still kind of stuck in the past. I also had a lot of toxic people in my life. But after removing those toxic people and learning to put the past behind me, I was finally able to just embrace the new things and the new people in my life and just have fun. I was really, really happy last year. And I’m not saying I’m not happy this year…I am, but I was happier last year. 2013 has been an emotional roller coaster so far. As you might know from my older posts, earlier this year, I kind of relapsed a bit and just was in this terrible mindset and just was not feeling like myself. I spent a LOT of days and nights upset and crying. I’m better now, and I’m trying to continue to get myself back on track, and my life back on track so that I can feel the way I did last year…or maybe even better! I’m not the happiest I’ve ever been right now, but I’m trying to fix that and get things back on track. I know I have many more even happier times ahead of me, and I can’t wait to see what the rest of this year has in store for me! I’m ready to give 2012 a run for it’s money! 😀
Well, I kind of touched on this on my “Where Do You See Yourself in Ten Years” post, so hopefully this post isn’t too redundant. But basically, I just hope my future is a happy one. That’s all I want in life, is to be happy. I don’t want to look back on my life and regret and not be satisfied with where I am in life. I really hope I’m a lot wiser than I am now, and confident. Not saying that I’m stupid and insecure now, because I’m not at all, but I believe that as you age, you become even more confident, and more wise. I just want to learn all I can. I want to have my crap together. I’d like to have a family of my own…married with a couple children. Living in a nice, cozy, beautiful home in a beautiful location…that’s not Florida. I really hope that all my hard work pays off. I want to have a career that I love. I want to enjoy going to work everyday…I never want going to work to be something I dread. I hope that I can make a difference in people’s lives. I’d like to be financially stable and comfortable. I want to be able to help provide my family with what we need, and have some extra “fun money,” too, so that we can go out and enjoy ourselves, and buy extra, fun things. I’m not saying I want to be rich…just stable and comfortable. I want my family and I to be healthy. Health has always been something that’s prominent in my family, and I hope that in the future, my family and I won’t have to worry about health. I hope that I have a few close friends in my life who I can trust, and count on. That’s always been a big thing for me. I don’t like having a lot of people close to me, but I think having just a few is almost necessary. Like I said, most importantly, I just want to be happy, healthy, and comfortable in my future. Above anything else.
I’m pretty smart with my money…I would most definitely NOT blow it on useless, stupid crap, or use it as an excuse not to work, or finish school. A million dollars would NOT last me a lifetime…and even if it did, I still want to make something of myself and follow my dreams and goals. I’m not gonna just be a bum and do nothing with my life. How stupid?! I still want to be successful in life. I think I would actually put money into my education and jump starting my career and life goals. That’d be the first thing I would probably do. I’d also move out of my parents house sometime in the near future and buy myself a little house, or even rent an apartment, so I’d use some money for that, so that I can learn be on my own and live as a real adult. I’d definitely help out my parents because we’re financially struggling pretty badly and are up to our necks in medical bills. The rest of the money, I’d invest, and put in the bank, and save it to put it towards my future. Not the most exciting answer, I know. No mansions, no fancy cars, no crazy shopping sprees…I’d be very realistic and smart, and prepare for the rest of my life by putting it towards my life goals. :))
Day 8: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?
I’m honestly not sure what my “dream job” would be, or what I’d like to do. When I was younger, I really wanted to be an actress, so badly. I’d spend hours online every night searching for casting calls in my area, when I came across an open casting for an agency in Orlando one day when I was 14. I took down the information, told my mom, and we made plans to go to the casting. We brought in headshots, and a few different outfits like the casting called for and there I met with the agent. I was super excited and wanted this so badly. She asked me a bunch of questions and looked at my photos, and then told me that because of my physical disabilities, acting probably wouldn’t work out for me because it is such an image based industry and that it would be hard to find roles. Needless to say, I wasn’t signed, and yeah, I was devastated, but at the same time I always kind of knew that in the back of my mind, and I understood. I still do think acting would be a lot of fun, but let’s be realistic here. I’d still love to do something that involves kind of that industry. Something in the film, or production industry would be amazing! Or something involving the media, or journalism…maybe writing for a magazine! I really don’t know. I’d even be happy working for a local broadcast news station, or as a radio broadcaster. I just want to do something fun and exciting every day that allows me to meet and communicate with a lot of people. I want each day to be new and exciting. And I don’t want to be stuck behind a desk all day, every day. I’d also love to be able to use my career as a platform to use my voice to make a difference and impact people and help people. I want to make a mark and make a difference. I want to inspire and create. And no matter what, I want to be happy. Above anything else. :))