Sometimes what you’re good at, isn’t necessarily what you enjoy doing. Some people are blessed enough to have incredible talents in which they not only highly excel at, but also LOVE doing. But what if that’s not you? What if you’re different? For some people the thing that they’re good at, and that they excel in is actually something that they don’t enjoy doing…at all. I’m one of those people.
For me, computers is something that I’ve always been good at. I’m not sure why…it just comes easy to me. I’ve used computers almost my whole life, so I just self-taught myself everything that I need to know about them. And while I like that I know so much about them, and the way they work…I don’t actually like the action of working with them. It’s boring, dull, frustrating…and I honestly hate it. I enjoy things that aren’t so structural…things that allow me creative freedom. I have an extremely creative mind, and I want to embrace that. I enjoy things like writing, art, photography design, and anything that allows me to make something my own…to make something out of nothing. To be myself. And unfortunately, when it comes to the arts…sure, I’m decent…and I’m kind of talented in some aspects of it, but I guess I’m not as knowledgeable in a lot of areas. And I hate that. Because those things make me happy. Not some stupid, structural, technological b.s.
It sucks when you have people telling you “oh, that’s your window,” or “you should be doing something in THAT field.” What if I don’t want to? Sure it’s an amazing job…and a good opportunity. But it’s not me. And it doesn’t make me happy. And I don’t want to do it. I’m not willing to sacrifice myself for a job. I had a friend convince me to apply for this amazing computer programming job, so I did. I really need the money, and I’m having issues finding a job. He said to me “has it ever occurred to you that this is the kind of stuff you should be applying for because it seems to me that you’ve just been applying in offices and restaurants?” Part of me wanted to say “no, because I hate computer programming and working with technology and the thought of working in that field makes me sick to my stomach.” But I’ve been looking for a job for over a year now with no luck, and I really have no room to be picky. So I filled out the job application and pretended to be excited and hopeful for a job I’m going to absolutely despise if I get it. He then started talking about changing my major to computer programming and everything along those lines, and that made me really uncomfortable. I know he was only trying to help, and I truly appreciate that SOO incredibly much, but I hate when people I know have false ideas about me. That’s not who I am. Nor is it who I want to be.
I’d rather work harder and expand my skill on what I TRULY enjoy doing and really grow to excel in it. I want to put my heart and soul into what I do and I want my passion to shine through. Most importantly, I want to use my skills, and who I am, as a person to help, give back, and inspire others. My main goal is to be happy and make a difference in the world somehow. That’s gonna be pretty hard to do if I hate my job. I said this to the same friend earlier tonight; “I’d rather be happy and poor, than rich and miserable.” So I think I’m going to pull my application from the company, and continue trying to get a job at someplace I’ll actually enjoy working at…like as a receptionist, or in a restaurant/hospitality environment…where I can be social, and interact with tons of other people, and have fun with it while also going to school to pursue my Mass Communications degree to prepare for my dream career…whatever that may be. I’m not exactly sure what I want to to do with my degree yet, but that’s okay. I’ll figure it out. Sometimes I’m not even sure is Mass Comm is for me. I do like it, but is there something better out there for me? Maybe. But I know it’s NOT computers.
It’s my life, and I deserve to be happy. And I encourage you all to do the same. Don’t listen to what anyone says; your peers, your parents, your friends, your teachers, etc…go for what YOU want to go for. Even if you may not be the best at it, if you truly love it and emerge yourself into it, then you’ll excel and your skill will improve. It’s your life, and you deserve to be happy. It doesn’t matter how “talented” you are at something…what matters is how much passion and love for it. So take that passion and love and implement it to create something truly beautiful…that’s gonna make you the best “you” that you can be. Money can’t buy happiness, folks. You deserve to be happy. So do it.