Are you REALLY giving it your all??

WOW! Longtime, no blog, I know! There’s really no excuse for my absence except for the fact that I’ve been insanely busy and so much has changed in my life recently that I’ve honestly been too overwhelmed with ideas for posts and updates that I didn’t even know where to begin. But, this isn’t an update post, so I’ll save those for another time. I just wanted to leave all of you out there reading this, with this little food for thought; no matter how “unimportant” a job or task may seem to you, that doesn’t mean that it’s any less significant, and that you shouldn’t give it your all. Your “little” job flipping burgers is no less significant than a “big time” office job dealing with “important” paperwork, and more ”established” people. They’re both the same. It doesn’t matter what you do, or what makes you feel “smarter.” A job is a job, and no matter how unimportant it may seem, it IS just AS important as the next, and it deserves 110% of your effort…that’s what being a mature hard worker is all about…your effort…NOT the job. DO NOT half ass a task because you don’t think it’s as important as another job/task, or because you think you’re better than whatever it is you’re doing. Whatever it is you’re doing at that moment, needs to be where ALL of your focus needs to be, because I guarantee, eventually, it will backfire on you. Like I said, food for thought.
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Failure leads to success…

It is true what they say; failure does, in fact, lead to success. A quote I’ve lived by for the past two years, but sometimes, after so many failures, you begin to wonder if that’s actually true. Is everyone meant to succeed? Will everyone eventually have their time to shine? At least I wondered that, anyway. Finding a job has been a tedious task, to say the least…especially in the past two years.

Being a college student, it’s only natural to want to work, make your own money, and gain independence to prepare yourself for the real, adult world. But for me, just finding a part-time job seemed next to impossible. Every application I turned in, and every interview I went on seemed like playing the lottery. Being a young adult in her early 20’s with her only job experience being a three month long summer job in New York three years ago, where my aunt was the manager, I wasn’t exactly in “high-demand,” if you will. The fact that I’m also barley 80 pounds, four foot, eight inches, have quite severe scoliosis, and look like I’m about thirteen year old, didn’t help much, either. Managers tended to not take me seriously because of how young I looked and my physical disabilities. I just needed someone to look past my physical qualities. They didn’t affect my work ethic, or my skill…they’re just physical. Other than that, I’m a normal person, who lives her life…well, normally. I can do anything anyone else can, and have just as much work ethic as anyone else. I’m a very independent person, and I’ve never been one to let a silly disability that effects nothing but my height get in my way. I just needed that one chance, that one manager, to see past that, and see me for who I really am.

So for the past two years, I struggled. Relying on my parents, and sometimes even very generous friends to help me financially. I hated that; I felt like I burden. I didn’t want to be that girl who just mooched off everyone around me. While all my friends were out working, I was sitting at home, alone, by myself feeling like a loser with no life. And with parents who constantly put me down for not working, like it was something I chose, it really put a damper on my self esteem.

For the past two years, a very, very generous, kind, and helpful friend of mine has helped me SO much in trying to find a job. From recruiting me to potential employers, helping me fill out applications, giving me tips and advice for job interviews, tough-love, and really just encouraging me to keep trying and reminding me that failure does lead to success, and that one day, God is going to give me the perfect job for me. And that honestly meant so much.

After an almost two year feat, last week, my friend, who works at Starbucks, texted me and told me to fill out an application to the new Starbucks location opening up in our area. The manager of that store, is temporarily working at his store, until the new location opens up. He talked to her about me, and I filled out the application. Within 30 minutes of submitting it online, I got a phone call from the manager asking me to come in for an interview later on in the week. The interview went great, and the managers made me feel really comfortable.Two days later, I got a phone call from her saying that I got the job! FINALLY! I was so excited…and didn’t really believe it at first…I had been waiting TWO YEARS for this day, and was finally here!

I instantly called my friend and told him the good news and he shared just as much excitement as I did. We finally did it! I say “we” because I do believe that he’s been such a big part of my journey in finding a job and I don’t think I could have done it without him. I believe that God helped me find a job through him, and I’m so thankful. Not for just landing me a job, but for being there for me along the way and encouraging me to keep trying, not to give up, and reminding me that God will give me the right job at the right time; that my moment will eventually come, and that sometimes failure makes the best success stories.

It’s not the “success” that makes people inspired; it’s the journey, the rocky road, the roller coaster, and the failure that all come first that make the story, and make it inspirational. God doesn’t just hand out success; he won’t give you anything that you can’t handle, so you just have to put your trust and faith into him and know that he WILL give you what is best for you when the timing is right. You just need a little patience. Two years ago, I don’t think I could have handled this, really…I don’t think I was mentally ready. But I am now. God does know what he’s doing. You just have to trust. I’m a little scared, and nervous, but I’m also excited and I can’t wait to see where this takes me. I hope it’s a good, and most importantly, a happy journey for me. If you’re struggling with a similar situation, just remember, eventually failure does lead to success. It may take time, but just have faith and believe that when the timing is right, it WILL happen for you when it’s meant to be. It took me two years, but I finally did it. And you can, too! I believe in you. My friend was right, and I’m SO thankful for everything he’s done for me to help make my career goals a reality.

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 10: Bucket List!

So obviously, this isn’t going to be everything I’d like to do before I die, but this is definitely just a few things I’d like to do, see, or accomplish. Some of these things are pretty random, and silly, but they’re just little things that came to my mind. Some of these things probably won’t ever happen, but like I said, they’re just fun little things I think would be pretty cool to see, do, or accomplish. :))

Oh, and these are in no particular order…

  • Graduate from college with my Bachelors in Mass Communications
  • Have a successful, fulfilling career that I LOVE in the film, production, media, or journalism industry.
  • Move out of Florida and to a beautiful place that I love.
  • Get married
  • Have children.
  • Change/influence someone’s life for the better.
  • Travel everywhere on my “places to travel to” list from yesterday’s post.
  • Have something I’ve written published.
  • Teach something important to someone.
  • Adopt a Dalmatian puppy.
  • Visit a movie set.
  • Ride in a hot air balloon.
  • Take a major risk.
  • Be independent enough to support myself.
  • Go on a cruise.
  • Have a white Christmas.
  • Build a snowman.
  • Swim in the Pacific Ocean.
  • Enhance my artistic abilities.
  • Do something no one would expect of me.
  • Make a difference in the world.
  • Inspire.
  • Go parasailing.
  • Scuba dive.
  • Take a road trip without a set destination…just drive wherever the road takes me.
  • Spend a whole night sleeping under the stars.
  • Go to Mardi Gras.
  • Have a bonfire…I’ve never even been to one before. How lame?! haha.
  • Start a slow clap…just because. haha.
  • Be able to spoil the ones I love. I love buying gifts for the people I love, or treating them to random surprises. I’d love to be able to financially afford to do so.
  • Own my dream home.
  • Fix my teeth.
  • Go to a lake house getaway.
  • Try every flavor of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
  • Eat at a five star restaurant.
  • Play hide and seek at Ikea…it just looks fun. hahah.
  • Take a road trip down Route 66.
  • Own a beach house.
  • Go kayaking.
  • Stay in a five star hotel.
  • Be able to own something nice for myself…a nice piece of jewelry, or a nice bag. I never treat myself to anything nice or expensive.
  • Own my own business…even if it’s just a small one.
  • Try and dabble in everything until I find my one, true passion in life.
  • Fly on a private jet.
  • Go to a wine tasting.
  • Become completely in touch with who I really am.
  • Live a long, happy, fulfilling life. :))

30 Day Blog Post Day 8!

Day 8: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be?

I’m honestly not sure what my “dream job” would be, or what I’d like to do. When I was younger, I really wanted to be an actress, so badly. I’d spend hours online every night searching for casting calls in my area, when I came across an open casting for an agency in Orlando one day when I was 14. I took down the information, told my mom, and we made plans to go to the casting. We brought in headshots, and a few different outfits like the casting called for and there I met with the agent. I was super excited and wanted this so badly. She asked me a bunch of questions and looked at my photos, and then told me that because of my physical disabilities, acting probably wouldn’t work out for me because it is such an image based industry and that it would be hard to find roles. Needless to say, I wasn’t signed, and yeah, I was devastated, but at the same time I always kind of knew that in the back of my mind, and I understood. I still do think acting would be a lot of fun, but let’s be realistic here. I’d still love to do something that involves kind of that industry. Something in the film, or production industry would be amazing! Or something involving the media, or journalism…maybe writing for a magazine! I really don’t know. I’d  even be happy working for a local broadcast news station, or as a radio broadcaster. I just want to do something fun and exciting every day that allows me to meet and communicate with a lot of people. I want each day to be new and exciting. And I don’t want to be stuck behind a desk all day, every day. I’d also love to be able to use my career as a platform to use my voice to make a difference and impact people and help people. I want to make a mark and make a difference. I want to inspire and create. And no matter what, I want to be happy. Above anything else. :))

Is the grass really greener on the other side, or is life just unfair?

I’ve never understood how it seems that life just comes so easily to some people. I know some people that just have it set so easy for them. It’s like whatever they want in life, they get…like God just hands it over to them so easy, with little to no struggle. Then you have people like me who’ve literally been struggling since the day they were born and seem to get nothing they work for, no matter how much they work their asses off. I’m not saying those people don’t work hard for what they have, I know they do; I’ve seen it. But I work hard too, and still struggle every day of my life. My hard work never pays off and I end up having nothing to show for it. It’s like one obstacle ends, and another gets in the way. I just don’t get how for some people life just seems to go their way…everything just seems to work out for them first or second try, and for me, it’s almost like it’s destined to never work out. It’s not fair. Now I’ve NEVER been one to complain, and I’m not complaining, nor am I feeling sorry for myself. I am happy with myself and my life, for the most part, but it just doesn’t make any sense to me. Why all these struggles on ONE person? Why all these obstacles? Maybe it’s one of those “the grass is always greener” situations, but I know other people like me who have been working their asses off and still seem to get nowhere, and then I see other people who basically get handed everything and all of their success, with no problems at all. When will it be OUR time to shine…when will we get our success??

Maybe it’s not such a bad thing after all…

I have been unemployed for about two and a half years now. My first and only job was when I was living in New York for the summer of 2010 when I worked as a file clerk in a pediatric’s office that my aunt managed; I’ve known the owners/doctors that run it since I was very young. Anyway, since then, finding employment and an income has been quite the struggle to say the least. I’ve filled out hundreds of applications, handed out tons of resumes, had interviews, and managers who’ve promised to call me back, but instead of being a professional and mature adult and telling me that I didn’t get the job, they play phone-tag with me and avoid me. Needless to say, it’s pretty damn annoying and discouraging. I mean, I’m almost 22 years old. I’m ready to be independent and start doing things on my own, and supporting myself. I’m sick of relying on my parents for everything. It makes me feel unaccomplished and yeah, it makes me feel a little like a loser.

I’ve been thinking recently, though. I’m in my last semester at the community college before I finally earn my AA degree, which that itself has been it’s own uphill battle (thanks, Intermediate Algebra). But I’m finally there. I’m graduating in May, and I’ll finally have that Associates Degree in my hands. Granted, I’m most definitely continuing my education afterwards and I plan on getting my BA, but for the time being, having the AA might actually help me in my job hunt. Now I know an Associate’s Degree isn’t the most prestigious degree, but it’s something. And hell, I worked DAMN hard for this degree. And I might be able to get a better, more well paying higher up job with an AA. Maybe it’s a good thing I haven’t found a job yet. Maybe there’s more for me out there. Maybe I’m not meant to be a hostess or server at a restaurant, or work in a fast food place…maybe now I have a window of opportunity to earn a better job. I could work as a bank teller, an assistant, office manager, etc. Now those aren’t the most exciting jobs, and I wouldn’t make a career out of it…but it’s something. It’s something to earn experience, and save money while I’m working on my BA, and make a name for myself so I can start supporting myself and start my own life.

I think I may just focus on my schooling for the next two and a half months, study hard so I can pass my final math class, and finally earn my AA degree. After that, when I add having an Associate’s Degree to my resume, I think it could really be beneficial to my job hunt. I’ve always been a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and there’s a plan for everyone. You can’t fight that, and it’ll happen the way it’s meant to happen. Sometimes our original plans don’t work out the way we’d like. But thank God for that. There’s something better waiting down the road for us eventually. And you just have to have faith that it’ll happen eventually…the way it’s supposed to. Who knows, maybe not having a job right now is a blessing in disguise There’s something better waiting for me and I just have to wait a little. Maybe if I had a job all these years, I wouldn’t be so focused on school…maybe I wouldn’t be so close to my degree…maybe I would have given up on school all together. Everything does work out eventually, and I’m confident that I will find a job soon. But school needs to be my first priority. :))

Do not live for the expectations of people around you; live for yourself, for your dreams, and for your happiness.

Today was my dad’s 50th birthday, so I gave him a call this afternoon to wish him a happy birthday like I do every year. We started talking about life and how I’m doing and the subject of school came up, as it always does and he started asking me about my plans after I get my AA and transfer after this semester. I told him the same thing I always tell him; that I want to major in mass communications. He then proceeded to ask me what I want to do with that degree…or what I could do with that degree. I told him that I wasn’t sure yet, but there was a lot I could do with it. I mentioned something in the media, journalism, film industry…something along those lines. Now by this point, I already expected what was coming next because he always mentions this whenever we talk about my schooling or career choice. He told me, “you know, I just don’t feel like that’s a very practical choice. Have you considered doing something else? Those fields are extremely hard to get into and chances are, you’re going to have a useless degree that you can’t do anything with. I still really think you should consider the medical industry. You’d be so good at it because you could relate to the patents. Or a teacher. You’re so good with kids!” Now excuse me while I breakdown everything that’s wrong with that statement;

  1. Mass communications is a very practical degree…there are SO many possible fields and career options for a mass communications degree.
  2. I really doubt that I’m going to end up without a good job because my degree is “pointless.” I’m smarter than that…give me some credit, here.
  3. I will never, ever, ever, EVER do anyyyything in the medical industry. I basically grew up in doctor’s offices and hospitals. I can’t stand them. The smell, and overall feeling of being in one makes my stomach turn in the most horrific way. If I had to work in one every day, I’d be extremely depressed. Yes, I’d LOVE to help people, but I want to do that in my own way…a different way. I can still help people, and make an impact in people’s lives without anything related to medical. 
  4. I’m AWFUL at math…seriously AWFUL. I’m pretty sure I’m mentally incapable of learning it, and I’m determined to prove that there’s an actual mental illness that makes it impossible to learn anything mathematical. hah. My point, though, in order to work in the medical field, you need to know a lot of math, and ten years of schooling with basically nothing but math and science sounds like a living hell…I don’t think I’d ever graduate. haha.

My point is this, I absolutely can’t stand when people tell me what I should do with my future. It’s my future, and my life, and I’ll do what I want with it. I have every right to follow my dreams and pursue my goals. Maybe I wont be some big-time magazine editor. Maybe I won’t write for a major newspaper/magazine. Maybe I wont be some famous producer, or a famous reporter. Maybe my work won’t reach a global or national audience, whatever it is I end up doing. But you know what, maybe I will! I’ll never know if I don’t at least try. And if I don’t, that’s okay, too. As long as I’m doing something that I have fun with, and love, and truly enjoy…that’s all that matters. I just want to be happy, and the only way for that to happen is to listen to myself and follow my dreams, and my goals…not what someone wants me to do, or tells me what they think I should do. You can’t live your life trying to please others, or listen to their view on what they think your life should be. It’s not their life to live; it’s yours, so live it the way you want to live it. Screw what other people say or think…even if those people are your family. You have every right to live your own life and you shouldn’t let anyone hold you back from whatever makes you happiest.