30 Day Blog Challenge Day 24: Write About The Worst Injury You’ve Had!

I don’t actually think I’ve had a really bad injury, surprisingly. **knocks on wood.** I don’t know if this counts, but I have had some pretty major surgeries, so I guess I’ll just talk about my worst one.

When I was 12, I was getting ready go in for my first back surgery for my scoliosis. They gave me a full-body MRI a week prior to my scheduled surgery, to make sure there were no preexisting problems. That’s when my doctor noticed a shadow behind my brain, so he sent me to a neurologist. The neurologist ran more tests, MRI’s and CAT scans and we found out that basically, my skull was not growing with my brain, and my brain was sticking out the base of my skull, causing it to put pressure on my spinal cord also causing the mysterious, and very painful headaches I used to get as a child. Now, there is a technical name for this, but I have no idea what it is, to be honest. My back surgery was canceled and two weeks later, I was in emergency surgery for my brain/skull. They had to cut out a portion of my skull and pretty much rebuild it. I don’t remember much from the first few days after surgery because I was so out of it, but I do remember I was in a LOT of pain. I was in the hospital for two and a half weeks and spent about a month of bedrest recovery at home. The weeks at home were probably the worse part of it all because I’m the type of person that likes to do things myself and just push through the pain and live my life normally, and of course after having major brain surgery, that wasn’t an option, and being at home offered wayy too many temptations to want to do everything as normal and not recover properly. It was pretty torturous. The first couple months after surgery, my heachaches were worse than ever and I couldn’t even stand up, or sit down for too long without going into excruciating pain. It was actually pretty discouraging because I thought this surgery was going to help my headaches, not make them worse, and it was scarry. I was not able to even attend school for the rest of that year, so I was homeschooled for the remainder of the school year. About three months later, I was fully recovered and I was able to start living my life again. It’s been almost ten years now, and I haven’t had a headache since and I’m doing absolutely great. I can’t even tell I’ve had such a surgery! I’m truly blessed that I was able to catch the issue on time and have it fixed and that I’m still able to live a normal life. :))

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 23: Letter to Your Future Self!

Dear Future Jenn,

Well, I guess I can’t give you much advice because I don’t know where you are in life, what you’ve experienced, or what you’ve learned. But I can say this; I hope you’re happy. I hope you’re living a life that you’re proud of, and that you have no regrets. I hope you’ve taken every opportunity you can to learn and grow into the best possible you, that you can become. I hope that you’ve kept and continued to follow your dreams and have accomplished your goals. And I really hope that you’ve kept the qualities that make you awesome, like your confidence, kindness, determination, and faith. I hope you’re healthy, and that you can look back on your past and smile, yet know that you’re happy with your life currently. Never look back and dwell and remember that everything happens for a reason and it’s brought you to where you are today. God has his own plans for you, even if they’re different for the plans you have for yourself, his plans are for the best and just continue to follow his lead and everything will be okay. Remember, you’ve been through dark times before, and you made it out just fine and even stronger than you were before. Keep your dreams and goals big, your head up, and your spirits high and everything will just fine. Just keep you thirst for knowledge, learning, and excitement. Always remember where you came from and the experiences that made you who you are today. :))


Present me. <33

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 21: Letter to My Teenage Self!

Am I the only one who started singing that Brad Paisley song, Letter to Me, when I saw this topic?? “If I could write a letter to me, and send it back in time to myself at 17…” Nope? No one else? Alright, cool…moving on. Haha.

Anyway….there are a lotttt of things I’ve learned since I was a teenager. A LOT. I’m so different now and I’ve learned so much about the world, and myself. So here’s my letter.

Dear Teenage Jenn,

Okay, first things first. What are you doing?! Yeah that blonde hair is NOT doing it for you. Everyone is right…you look like a highlighter. Stop killing your hair. Trust me, you’ll thank me later. I promise. Also, step outside of your comfort zone a little bit…try new things you normally wouldn’t have, take risks, and have fun. It’s okay to change it up a bit and have have new adventures. Speaking of change, change is NOT always a bad thing. Change is a GREAT thing. EMBRACE it!! Stop dwelling and living in the past. Yeah, you’ll have some awesome times as a teenager, but that doesn’t mean you’ll never have good…even better times! People come and go out of your life. And those who want to stay in your life will, and those who don’t…well, don’t dwell on missing them, because those who are worth it, they’ll stay. People change, grow apart, and move on…and that’s all a part of life. You’ll have new, even better people come into your life, and give you even better memories. 

Also, girl, you GOTTA learn to speak your mind more. It’s OKAY to say “no,” sometimes…it doesn’t make you mean. It’s great that you care about others…and never stop doing that, but you matter, too. Please don’t be a doormat. Put your foot down, and show your bitchy side when needed. Please, never text and drive!! And when you don’t have a green left arrow, you do NOT have the right away. Just pay attention to the road. Also, people aren’t as scary as you think they are. Being shy isn’t really working for ya’. Muster up that confidence I know you have, and be that outgoing girl I know you are at heart. Come out of your shell. It doesn’t matter how awkward you think you are, or how much you hate your voice. Just be you. You’ll meet tons of new people. And please, NEVER take the people in your life for granted. Because no one is invincible. And anything could happen. Let the people in your life know you care about them. Don’t push people away because you’re afraid that you care too much about them. That’s silly. Just because people in elementary and middle school were mean, doesn’t mean that no one else wants to be your friend. Because people do care about you. More than you know.

Keep that confidence you have, and continue not to care what people think. You’ve got the right idea there. Keep it up. Never change yourself for anyone. Continue living up to you morals and values and stay true to yourself. You’ll look back in a few years and be proud of that. When times get tough, just remember that EVERYONE goes through awful times, but it’s not the end of the world. It always gets better. Don’t let the bad times destroy you. Please. That’s just going to make you even more miserable. Just work on fixing yourself and working towards making everything better. You can’t fight fate, and what’s meant to happen, will happen. Everything really DOES happen for a reason. It may not make sense now, but it will in the end. 

I know you’re probably thinking “yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before…,” but take it from your older and wiser self, who’s been through this. It’s all so true. I promise you. You’ll be okay. Everything will work out in the end. Don’t stress too much and just have faith everything will be okay in the end. You have SOOO much up ahead of you, and life gets so much better after your teenage years. High school is NOWHERE near the best years of your life. Start looking forward to the future. As the song says, “you’ll make it through this and you’ll see…you’re still around to write this letter to me.” :))


Me. <33

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 20: Picture of What You Wore Today!

So, I don’t have an actual photo of myself wearing my outfit today, so I just made an Outfit of The Day post on Polyvore. So here ya’ go! Here’s the outfit that I wore today! :))

Note: The shoes aren’t exact…I couldn’t find the exact ones I wore online because I bought them ages ago, but they’re pretty much just teal, pointed toe patent pumps. I got mine from Charlotte Russe! :))ootd3

Dress: Charlotte Russe

Marc Jacobs Daisy: Ulta

Earrings: Forever 21

Maybelline Vivids Lipstick in Electric Orange: Ulta 

Shoes: Charlotte Russe

Sometimes we don’t realize what we want, or how we feel until it’s too late…

It’s kind of crazy how sometimes you don’t even realize you feel a certain way until you’re placed into a situation where it’s almost too late, and suddenly you’re left feeling confused, scared, and with not knowing what to do. I guess all this time I was just happy with how everything was going…I was content and I never really thought deep into it. But then after upon hearing some news that I never even thought would bother me, I became a little sad, and hurt in a way. I never even knew that I felt the way I do this whole time, but I guess after a reality check and being forced into this situation, I realized how I really felt. But like I said, it’s almost too late to do anything about it. And even if I do, what’s gonna happen? Is it even worth it?

30 Day Blog Challenge Day 20: Things You Like and Dislike About Yourself!

I wasn’t really given a specific number of things to talk about, so I figured I’d just do ten for each. I wasn’t sure if these were supposed to be physical traits, or personality traits, so it’s just going to be a little mix of everything. So, I’ll start with the things that I dislike, and end with the positive! :))

Things I dislike about myself:

  1. My tendency to overthink  everything. I’m always over-analyzing and putting way too much thought into everything…it sometimes causes me to jump to conclusions, and I end up stressing and freaking myself out for no reason. I’m trying to work on that.
  2. I curse wayyy too much. It’s gotten really bad and to the point that I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I’m trying to cut down on my swearing because I think swearing a lot makes you sound really trashy and unintelligent. It’s awful.
  3. My body. I’ve been through this before on my body image posts, but I just really don’t like the way it makes me look. I have zero curves, I’m disproportionate, my back/torso is deformed thanks to my scoliosis, and I’m way too skinny. I feel like I’m stuck in the body of a prepubescent ten year old boy. Not cute. I just want to feel like a woman.
  4. My tendency to pretend that I don’t care about people as much as I really do in fear that they don’t care about me as much as I care about them. I won’t go into too much detail because I have a whole post about that here. Again, I’m trying to work on that.
  5. My teeth. I hate my gap, and I have cavities in the front that I really need to get fixed. My teeth make me feel very unattractive and I plan to get them fixed as soon as I can afford it!
  6. I feel like a bum because I’m 22 and I don’t have a job. It’s something that I’m really insecure about because I really want to support my own self and be independent, but I can’t. I feel like a 16 year old having to rely on my parents for my financial needs. I cannot wait for the day when I can pay for my own phone bill, and my car insurance, and pay my parents back for my car. Not to mention be able to hang out with my friends and do whatever I want without feeling like I’m a mooch because I don’t have any money. It just makes me feel like I’m not really doing anything with myself and really crappy about myself and like a loser. I want to make something of myself and be independent. =/
  7. I have a tendency to be a bit suborn. And I don’t necessarily think that’s always a bad thing, but sometimes it can be. It sometimes takes me awhile to see things in a new and better light, and takes a lot of convincing. I have gotten a LOT better about that, though.
  8. Now this is something I’ve come a LONG way on, and I’m MUCH, MUCH better than I used to be…but I’m still not completely there on it. Being assertive. I used to pretty much be a pushover back in highschool, and I would worry about not wanting to be mean, so I’d let myself get walked all over and people took advantage of me…I FINALLY got over that, but struggled with being very passive. Speaking my mind was something that was very difficult for me, and I am SOOOOO much better than I used to be. I’ve come such a long way. But I’m still working on it a bit. There’s still some things that I probably should speak my mind about, but don’t. I’m working on that, though!
  9. My indecisiveness. I usually have a hard time making up my mind, or deciding what I want. It’s kind of annoying, and I wish it was a lot simpler to just chose. Again, I’m working on it.
  10. I tend to be super hard on myself and I don’t give myself enough credit sometimes, and I have gotten a whole lot better with that, too, but I still tend to be a bit self critical and beat myself up about things. And in my mind I know that half the things I think about myself aren’t true, but I guess I just am a bit of a perfectionist. I’m really trying to be better with that, as well.

Things I like about myself:

  1. I know I’m a good person. I’m genuine, kind, well mannered, real, and moral. I love that about myself. I have a lot of qualities that people seem to lack in today’s day in age. I’m glad that I don’t. Even though I was raised to have some opposite qualities, like being rude and judgemental…I became my own person. And I love that.
  2. My weirdness. Who wants to be normal?! Normal is boring…I love being strange. 😉
  3. My hair. My hair used to be one of my least favorite physical features, but it’s come a longgg way in the past year, and now it’s one of my favorites! :))
  4. My confidence and self acceptance. Again, I’ve talked about this a few times before, but I love that despite my insecurities, I still have my confidence. I accept myself regardless and I recognize the things I can and can’t change about myself. In a way, I love my insecurities because they help make me who I am today. I’m SO glad that people’s opinions of me don’t phase me at all and that I will never feel sorry for myself.
  5. My scars. I have a bunch of scars on my body, but a few very prominent ones that I love; the one on my back from my back surgeries, the one down my whole torso from a bunch of surgeries I had when I was little, and my “second belly button,” from my feeding tube. I absolutely LOVE my scars and I’d never get rid of them. I actually had the option to get them lasered off, and to make my feeding tube scar less noticeable, but I didn’t want that. I’ve had those scars for as long as I can remember and they’re apart of me. They help remind me that I’m a survivor and that I beat the odds; that I truly am blessed. They’re my battle wounds and I love them. I’d never not want to have them.
  6. My eyes. I used to hate my brown eyes. I used to want green eyes…so badly that I even once researched eye color replacement surgery…haha. Yeah. Crazy, I know. But I love my brown eyes, now. I think they’re really pretty and unique because they’re almost like an orangey/golden color. I’d never even wear colored contacts now.
  7. My independence. I’ve always loved the fact that I’m able to do things myself. I never wanted any special treatment, or accommodations growing up. Because of my disabilities, everyone always wanted to do everything for me…most people with curves in their spines as bad as mine was typically can’t even walk and are in wheelchairs. They’re in special programs at school and are secluded from the rest of the main population at school…I never wanted that to be me. I wanted to be as normal as possible. I wanted to be a normal kid. So I did just that. I declined any help and learned to do things on my own and I was able to go through school completely normal. Most people didn’t even know there was anything wrong with me. That taught me from an early age to be independent and do that for myself. I don’t need anyone to take care of me…and although sometimes it is nice to have someone kind of take care of you a bit, especially in your times of need, for the most part, I like to do things for myself. I make my own success, I want to support myself, etc. I’m proud of that.
  8. I’m very creative. I always have been. The thought of creating something out of nothing has always appealed to me. When I was little, I would always enjoy crafts, and making things. I’d spend hours drawing, writing stories, and sneaking into my stepmom’s room and playing with her makeup. That continued as I got older…I still write, experiment and play with makeup, have fun with clothing and fashion, and I even do graphic and web design now. I guess I am a bit of an artist, and while I may not be super talented in all things art, I still enjoy it, and I still like that I enjoy it. Creative people fascinate me and inspire me. I’m glad that I can be considered creative, too.
  9. I’m pretty funny…or so I like to think. Hahah. I have a great sense of humor and, I mean, I make myself laugh…so I hope I make other people laugh as well? Lol. But thank God I’m not one of those boring people who can’t laugh at anything. Blah. Haha.
  10. I don’t really get embarrassed…and I think that’s an awesome thing. I’m able to laugh at myself when I do something stupid, or what’s typically considered embarrassing and just brush it off. I’ve wiped out down whole flights of stairs at school, walked around with two different shoes on, had my desk fall on top of me in the middle of class, and probably a million other things that most people would be typically embarrassed by…and I just am able to laugh at myself and make light of the situation. I’ve always been able to laugh at myself and make fun of myself; even my insecurities. There’s no need to take those kinds of situations and make them into something big that they don’t need to be. Life’s too short, just enjoy it. :))