Let’s talk body image: part 2…

So I made a post regarding body image a couple months ago here, but I kind of wanted to touch on it again, in a different way. My body image is kind of something I’ve always struggled with. Despite my confidence, my body has always been my biggest insecurity. Because of my scoliosis, and physical disabilities, my body has never looked “normal,” so to speak, and I’ve never been pleased with the way that it looks. I never let it get me down or bother me, but I am human…of course I compare myself to other girls. If I see a girl, or celebrity who I think is really pretty, or who has a great body, yeah, my insecurities kick in and I think “ugh. Why can’t I look like her?!”

Yes, I’d love a body and curves like Jennifer Lawrence, and yes, I want perfect teeth, and boobs, and a nice butt. I don’t like being a stick, and having no curves. I don’t like being disproportionate, or having my shoulder blade stick out and having a curved back. And yes, I feel like I have the body of a prepubescent ten year old boy, and I wish I had a more womanly figure. But you know what? I can’t change any of that. I can’t change the shell God gave me, because he made me like this for a reason. And I’m okay with that. I’m 100% totally okay with that. Because this body I was born with…it doesn’t matter. It’s just a shell. It says nothing about who I am as a person. It says nothing about my character. It’s just a shell. It means nothing. Why should it matter what my body looks like, or what physical traits I have? It really shouldn’t.

And anyone who judges me because of that, or thinks that I’m not good enough because of the way I look? Well screw them because I love the person I am. I love who I am. And I’m proud of the body I have, and even though at times I feel insecure about it, I accept that this is the body God gave me and I’m gonna rock it the best I can. I may not be “the total package,” or a “bombshell.” I may not be a Jennifer Lawrence, or Hayden Panettiere, or a Mila Kunis, or a Victoria’s Secret model…but that’s okay because I’m Jenn Wray…the only Jenn Wray, and I’m awesome. I should embrace that. And I do embrace that. I like that my body tells a story. It’s a reminder of everything I went through. It reminds me that I’m a survivor and that I beat the odds. And that’s amazing. I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

Like I said, my body is merely a shell…the only important part of myself is my spirit, my soul, and my being…everything that lies underneath. It’s normal to want to look your best, and to want to be attractive. And it’s okay to feel that way. It’s okay to feel self conscious sometimes. As long as you always remember that it’s silly to waste you time wishing you looked a certain way, and wishing you could change things that you can’t. At the end of the day, always remember that being attractive and your physical appearance is the most irrelevant thing on this earth. It’s your soul and who you are as a person that matter the most. And the ones in your life that matter the most will see you for who you truly are. It won’t matter if you have that perfect body, or that perfect face, or that perfect smile. A beautiful person on the inside really does translate into a beautiful person on the outside.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of this. My confidence comes from being proud of my body regardless, and not caring what anyone else says, because it’s my body, not theirs. I don’t live to please them and they have no right to judge me. If they can’t accept the real me, I don’t want them in my life. My confidence comes from knowing I’m a good, moral person and being proud of that. I’m not a perfect person by any means, but I try to be the best person I can be, and I accept and recognize my flaws and mistakes, and I let them help make me a better person and improve myself. Confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear…not some “sexy” body that society tells us that we have to look like. Don’t let this physical shell define you. It’s not who you are. It means nothing. Who you are behind the shell…that’s the ONLY thing that matters, and the people who love you most and truly care about you, will see that.

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