Decisions, decisions…

I’ve been thinking again about getting a spinal fusion reversal surgery. Earlier this year I posted about how I was looking into the surgery, but I later decided against it because I felt my reasonings were too “cosmetic.” I was struggling with major self esteem issues earlier this year, around March and April, and I thought by deciding against the surgery and relearning to love myself regardless, that that would make me feel better…and it did. My confidence is back, my self esteem is back, and no matter what, I’ll always love and accept myself. But my body/scoliosis will always be my biggest insecurity. I’ll always would rather have the body of a normal person, and the fact that this is a medical issue, and medical advances have come SO far since I had the my surgery almost seven years ago, I feel like it is justifiable to want to improve it more uptodate on technology’s standards. Also, having a straighter spine may affect me positively in the future…with the way my spine is now, carrying a baby for nine months and being pregnant could REALLY take a toll on my back…the surgery could make it more possible to have a better, more comfortable pregnancy. I don’t plan on having a baby anytime soon, but I do most definitely want to get married and have children someday, and it is important to me to carry my own children and have a normal/healthy pregnancy, and the surgery could definitely make that more possible. In the back of my mind, I still wonder, though, is this too much like plastic surgery? I’m super against the idea of ever getting plastic surgery…so by getting this, am I a hypocrite? I mean, it’s not plastic surgery…it’s for scoliosis…a medical condition. But I don’t suffer from pain, and I live a pretty normal life, but I’d really love to have normal body and fix my spine, so really, I’m basically doing it for my appearance. But at the same time, it does make sense to want to medically improve my spine with technology’s advances. I don’t know what to do…

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4 thoughts on “Decisions, decisions…

  1. if its for a medical reason then have it, theres people who have surgery on their nose all the time for example if they’ve broken it, it will probably help the way they breathe, snoring etc but It will also improve their self confidence too. Just because self confidence will be a side effect doesn’t mean its just counted as plastic surgery x

    • You’re right! Thanks! :)) I’m perfectly confident and have self esteem the way I am now, but at the same time, I’m only human and I do have insecurities. I’ve always been a HUGE advocate for loving and accepting yourself regardless of your insecurities because I believe appearance is irrelevant and at the end of the day your body is just a shell. It means nothing. And because I don’t suffer from any side effects most people with scoliosis like mine have, (i.e. walking, pain, etc.), I feel it’s a little hypocritical of me to get since the only benefit of the surgery, in my case, would be a more normal appearance. I still have a lot to think about. haha. Thank you!

  2. I don’t feel like it would be hypocritical of you. Would it improve your comfort? Not necessarily pain, but would it make it easier to sit for long periods of time, sleep, or etc.? If so, then I think those are definitely valid reasons. I think you are doing the right thing to weigh all of your options and make sure you are doing it for the right reasons though. All the best!

    • I don’t think it would necessarily improve my comfort..I don’t really suffer from discomfort, and the small amount I do have is actually due to my first two surgeries that were necessary and the rods/pins that were placed in my spine. Because the third surgery would also involve rods and pins, I doubt my discomfort would improve. Thank you so much for commenting! I still have a lot to think about. haha. I hope I can come to the right decision soon!

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