Family isn’t always everything…

Family…most people hear this word and automatically think the most important people in their life, their rock, the people they can trust most, support system. But not me. Not at all. See, I’ve never had a great relationship with my family and I’ve never been all that close to them. For me, just because I was born into this family doesn’t automatically make them more important, or better than anyone else in my life. That may sound bad to a lot of you, but that’s really how I see it. Just because you were born into these people’s lives doesn’t mean they have your best interests at heart, or that they know you any better than everyone else in your life. For me, it’s actually quite the opposite. I trust my family the least. For one, they all have big mouths and like to start feuds and arguments, and they simply just get in my way. They’re a dead-end in my life path. Everyone in my family has this “ideal” image of what they want me to be…of this person they want me to be, and because I’m not that person, and I’m not going to be that person, there is a lot of tension between us.

See, I was raised to be someone completely different that who I am. I was raised to be judgmental, racist, bitchy, close minded, and to act rudely towards people. Anyone who has ever met me can vouch that this is not who I am at all. I’m the polar opposite of this, and because I’ve chosen to be independent and to be my own person, it causes a lot of apprehension between us. I don’t like that I have to run every decision I make in life through them…why can’t I just do it; no questions asked, without being judged, ridiculed, and criticized? If I wanted to hear from you, or wanted your opinion, I would have asked you. I’m almost 22 years old…I’m an adult; I don’t need a road block.

I’m not saying I don’t love my family; of course I do. But my point is this, I don’t believe that family should automatically be considered the most important people in your life; sure they’re important, but who’s to say other people aren’t just as important? You can’t pick your family…you can’t pick these people who’s lives you we’re born into; that society places the stigma of shaping you as a person, or being “the most important people in your life.” I think the important people in your life should be the ones you can trust, the ones you can count on, the ones who do accept you for who you really are…not the ones who just share the same bloodline as you. For some people, that might be your family…and that’s fine. Maybe you’re closer to your family for whatever reason, and that’s fine, but  for me, not the case. Unlike most people, my family really hasn’t been an influence in the person I am or the person I want to be at all…if anything they taught me the person I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be like anyone in my family…and I’m not. I am my own person and I have only myself and other outside influences to thank for that; but not my family, and I’m okay with that. My family hasn’t shaped me into the person I am today; I shaped this persona all on my own thanks to my own life experiences and influences and I like who I am, so I wouldn’t change anything. Like I said, yes, I do love my family, but honestly, they aren’t everything to me and I don’t credit them with shaping me as a person. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

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3 thoughts on “Family isn’t always everything…

  1. I can see where you’re coming from if you’ve not had the support of your family. I do however think it’s a little sad and I don’t mean to say that in a condescending way. An understanding family is a wonderful thing to have and it sounds as if you’ve missed out a little.

    • It’s not that I’m against the idea of family, or that I don’t have a good or supportive family. I just don’t really see the point in saying family is the most important thing. I guess I’m independent and don’t really look to anyone as a support system. I don’t think that just because you’re born into these people’s lives means that they should be any more important than anyone else in your life. To me, family members are just people you share a bloodline with. They’re no more relevant or important than anyone else in my life. I don’t think it’s sad, or that I’ve missed out on a good or supportive family. In my opinion, this goes for any family…I just don’t see the importance in only family when there’s other people in the world that have the potential to be just as, or even more important than family. You don’t have to be just family to be supportive; anyone can be supportive and to me that makes family equal with everyone else in the world. A bloodline shouldn’t automatically make anyone more important, that’s all I was trying to say. Thank you for your comment! :))

  2. Totally Know Where You’re Coming From, Except I Wish Me & My Family We’re Close.
    I Also Agree That My Family(Mom Is Particular) Shaped Me Into Someone I Knew I Didn’t Want To Be.

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